Tantrayana: Thoughts

The last two weeks have been interesting. We have been studying and practising and integrating Tantra into our lives. Our text has been "The Everything Tantric Sex Book". by Bobbi Dempsey. We are now in the  region of Chapter 14 and Dempsey is talking about how to live a Tantric life. Our response to what we read was "we've been doing this for ages". It makes such sense to treat people well, to be non-judgemental and to take care of ourselves physically and emotionally.

Today marks the beginning of our third week of yoga practice. Traditionally if you pursue a new direction for three weeks or more, the change is permanent. So at the end of the week if we are still doing our Sun Salutations... which is almost guaranteed, then we will have made the change. We find the Salutations to be very invigorating and the perfect transition between meditation and weights. I said to Selina this morning that with the regime of meditation, Kegel exercises, yoga and weights very much in place, that for her, the nice thing in 6 months will be watching the play of muscles across my body as I go throught the sequence of asana.

There is a goal for me to be at 90 kg by my birthday on May 7. I feel that I won't make this. It's a kilo a week and that simply won't happen. What I do feel will happen will be an increase in muscle tone. I am doing the above programme in the morning as well as walking about 20 km a week as well as drinking the protein shakes. I will be down from my current 97 kg, but I'll be wearing a surprised look if I'm at 90 kg. I will however give it my best shot. One of the saving graces of Aspergers Syndrome is that once a goal is set upon we will generally go through Hell & high water to achieve it.
My meditation continues to be Metta. The Tantra practice is deepening it. We changed our altar to entirely Goddess of Mercy (Avalokitesvara, Kwan Yin, Kanzeon, Kannon) yesterday and the change in the  energy is palpable. A nice change for the better we feel.
Must go. Part of Tantra is keeping your environment pleasant...lawn to be mowed. Scented candle lit, then cooking Milk Rice followed by most like a version of this morning....yoga, weights, Kegels.

Foreplay

We were reading about Foreplay the other night. It makes perfect and wonderful sense that foreplay can and should be something that we do almost constantly with our lovers. Little things like random kisses during the day to suddenly making dinner to tidying up the kitchen. Anything that makes our lover feel special and loved is foreplay.

Thinking about it, I could add doing yoga in the nude. If you are toned...or like me, becoming that way...then seeing the play of muscles as you perform a Sun Salutation or other asana can be quite the turn on for your lover.

I know my wife finds me playing with myself a serious turn on. So I put on a show periodically...complete with extra moaning. Seeing me touching myself slowly as I tell her what I'm visualising certainly gets the party started.

Likewise for me. I love seeing my wife pleasure herself.

And lastly, the biggest single turn on and act of extended foreplay is being beautifully toned and fit. No one particularly finds the fat & sloppy attractive.

Be like the bodies above...get laid.

Yoga

I've had an intermittent practice at best. An interest, but not much practice to back it up.
I've decided to halve my Metta meditation sessions and to add Yoga to my hour. I'm beginning slowly with only one set of Sun Salutations (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun_Salutation) per session this week. Next week I'll do two sets, the week after three and a limit of about ten.

I am also engaging in Kegel exercises (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kegel_exercise). These give strength to the penis. They strengthen erections and intensify orgasm. Basically male pelvic floor exercises. The procedure is to basically pull your anus & scrotum together using the muscles. The middle of the area should lift. I have a small set of prayer beads and count slowly from 1 - 10. I engage in a full circle of 18 lifts twice a day.

I'm a nudey yogin. I meditate in the early morning...between 4 & 5 a.m., so there isn't often anyone else awake in the house. Being nude allows me to stretch properly. It may proove interesting in winter, but now it's great.

Whilst I was in South-East Asia recently I managed to drop to 97 kg. We had a baby carrier and carrying our son who with the combination of the carrier loaded with nappies, water etc., came in not much lighter than 20 kg. Carry that for anything up to 10 km a day & see the weight fall of. Also in Indonesia I found Bintang Beer almost undrinkable...and expensive.

The reading on Tantra continues and makes wonderful sense. We were reading about Foreplay yesterday and making every act one of Foreplay is logical. Fill your loves world with gentle kisses, kind words and loving acts and you might just find that what happens in your love life gets pretty wonderful.

Shower and my wifes favourite aftershave await.
Be gentle with each other.

Reading List

In no particular order, here is our reading list:
The Yoga Sutras of Patañjali: A New Edition, Translation, and Commentary - Edwin F. Bryant

Tantra for Erotic Empowerment: The Key to Enriching Your Sexual Life by Mark A. Michaels

The Heart of Tantric Sex: A Unique Guide to Love and Sexual Fulfillment by Diana Richardson

 

Tantra: The Supreme Understanding by Osho

The Book Of Massage: The Complete Stepbystep Guide To Eastern And Western Technique by Lucy Lidell

 

The Complete Book of Essential Oils and Aromatherapy: Over 600 Natural, Non-Toxic and Fragrant Recipes to Create Health - Beauty - a Safe Home Environment by Valerie Ann Worwood

 

Aromatherapy: An A-Z: The Most Comprehensive Guide to Aromatherapy Ever Published by Particia Davis

 

Sexual Reflexology: Activating the Taoist Points of Love by Mantak Chia

 

Acupressure and Reflexology For Dummies by Synthia Andrews

 

 

The Origins of Yoga and Tantra: Indic Religions to the Thirteenth Century by Geoffrey Samuel

Growing Pains

Yep this pretty well describes it. I gave my last friend from my time at the BSV a choice between actually making an effort at having proper contact with me or ending the friendship...he opted for the latter.
Thus ends the chapter of this lifetime marked "BSV & Theravada".
Now at the cusp of a new chapter, I must enter it. Enter it as free of anger and emotional baggage as I possibly can. I will not rant about the hypocrisy I found in Theravada for that would be to leave the chapter I want closed open.
Now I know I return home in a little over a month and intend to practice Tantra. I intend to finally have a yoga practice...even if it means cutting the formal sitting meditation time in order to fit it in. There are so many things I want to learn and  feeling like shit...as I do at the moment, is simply nonsense. I have every reason to be excited about what I want to do and almost none to view recent events with sadness. Perhaps a meal and some coffee will help.
I took time this morning to sit and think. Once I stop feeling so tired and lose the kack in my lungs from the pollution of Ha Noi, I should be more positive.
I have leaned out in the 5 weeks in Indochina and like the new look. Lots of exercise...Ariel weighs 12 kg and his carrier almost 5. Little wonder I've been getting fit.
So many wonderful things to do. So few reasons to grieve for the chapter just closed.
Time to embrace the  wonderful.

Reflection

I managed to meditate this morning. This year there will be a continuation of the exercise, weight loss and toning. A return to a regular yoga practice. And an exploration of Tantra...the historical basis of it and the spiritual underpinning.  Every thing from chakras to reflexology to massage will be explored and practiced.

The decision to close the chapter of this lifetime that involved Theravada is one I'm completely happy with. No anger, just a contentment that the chapter is closed. This year I will become beautiful.

Leaving Theravada

In the almost four weeks that I've been in Asia I've been doing a fair bit of thinking...and dreaming.
I self identified as Theravada Buddhist for over 20 years....yep, the same amount of time, in fact a little more, that I was married to my ex-wife.

I have come to the conclusion that like myself and my ex, Theravada and I aren't something that naturally happens. I liked Theravada because it was stable and predictable...like her. I've ended up leaving for almost exactly the same reasons...I need colour and noise and to be utterly uninhibited in exploring. For me this is a time of profound personal growth. There is no crisis.

There is the acceptance that Theravada, like my ex, isn't me any more. I'm not the Theravada type, just like I ended up not being her type. I out grew them both. Whilst I like solitude and need it often, I'm naturally a loud person. My curiousity has reached the end of its tether in Theravada...it doesn't explore aspects of life that I want to. The Visuddhi Magga when it comes to generosity defines it almost exclusively in dollar terms. Metta is also shallow and no mention is ever given of using Metta in weight loss or fitness. The entire idea that parenting is a valid expression of Dhamma is utterly rejected....by people who have never done it. And yes, celibacy isn't me. I'm too sexual a person and have always been so.

Like my ex, Theravada wants to muzzle/gag me. My ex is a depressive and every thing was painted in shades of grey. Like my ex, Theravada insists that if I just tweak one more thing....every thing will be happy. My simple response these days is "Oh fuck this!" I want colour, depth, joy, passion, beauty. I don't want to be told where I can and can't explore. I have grown out of the need to just sit in the same orbit doing things that manifestly don't work for me.

So I am exploring, taking joy in a great bum or breasts. Getting my into beautiful shape physically, emotionally and as a person. Making myself into what I hope will be a shatteringly competent lover. Growth is happening and it is good.