Saturday, 14 January 2012
Yep this pretty well describes it. I gave my last friend from my time at the BSV a choice between actually making an effort at having proper contact with me or ending the friendship...he opted for the latter.
Thus ends the chapter of this lifetime marked "BSV & Theravada".
Now at the cusp of a new chapter, I must enter it. Enter it as free of anger and emotional baggage as I possibly can. I will not rant about the hypocrisy I found in Theravada for that would be to leave the chapter I want closed open.
Now I know I return home in a little over a month and intend to practice Tantra. I intend to finally have a yoga practice...even if it means cutting the formal sitting meditation time in order to fit it in. There are so many things I want to learn and feeling like shit...as I do at the moment, is simply nonsense. I have every reason to be excited about what I want to do and almost none to view recent events with sadness. Perhaps a meal and some coffee will help.
I took time this morning to sit and think. Once I stop feeling so tired and lose the kack in my lungs from the pollution of Ha Noi, I should be more positive.
I have leaned out in the 5 weeks in Indochina and like the new look. Lots of exercise...Ariel weighs 12 kg and his carrier almost 5. Little wonder I've been getting fit.
So many wonderful things to do. So few reasons to grieve for the chapter just closed.
Time to embrace the wonderful.
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
I managed to meditate this morning. This year there will be a continuation of the exercise, weight loss and toning. A return to a regular yoga practice. And an exploration of Tantra...the historical basis of it and the spiritual underpinning. Every thing from chakras to reflexology to massage will be explored and practiced.
The decision to close the chapter of this lifetime that involved Theravada is one I'm completely happy with. No anger, just a contentment that the chapter is closed. This year I will become beautiful.