Dhammic Sex

 

Tantric Exercises.

With this series of exercises I borrow a lot of inspiration from the extremely useful “TANTRA for Erotic Empowerment”.

Time Alone Together

Turn off your phone, unplug the Internet and sit and talk to each other. Talk about whatever comes up. Just sit and talk without distractions. You will be amazed at just how important this is in Tantra. You can gaze into the other persons eyes and explore what it is you see in them. The eyes and the mouth really are the portals to the soul. What is in someones eyes and what comes out of their mouths are indicators of what is happening inside their head.

People with troubled eyes, with eyes that are full of darkness, such as mine were when I met Selina are invariably unhappy souls. Eyes that are full of light and happiness are people who are deeply happy with their lives. Spend time looking into your partners eyes and openly, honestly discuss with them what you see there. Nothing is to be off limits.

The single most repeated phrase from a couple whose marriage is in or approaching terminal decline is: “He/She never listens to me!” Listen, truly listen to your partner. Listen with 100% of your attention. This is why the distractions are put away. Be fully attentive to what the other person is saying. If you don’t understand something, ask them to explain it. There is no real way I can suggest what topics to talk about apart from it would be a very good idea to discuss Tantra. Discuss what it is you want from Tantra, where it is you want to go with it and where you don’t want to go with it. Discuss interests, boundaries and what it is that has brought you to Tantra. Tantra arises from understanding.

Apart from that discuss the everyday events of your relationship. You will be surprised just how effective simply sitting and talking can be in removing problems within relationships before they even arise. In creating a space for discussion we are giving things long suppressed a chance to rise to the surface. Discuss whatever is on your minds.

Exploring your sexuality:

Be honest with yourself.  What is your sexual orientation? Where in a scale of 1 to 10 with one being totally homosexually orientated and ten being totally heterosexually orientated would you place yourself?  There is no right or wrong answers in this. There is complete honesty with yourself. We all have a degree of same sex attraction, I, for example, find the President in the TV series House of Cards utterly gorgeous and occasionally catch myself wondering what he would look like nude...and I rate myself as emphatically heterosexual.  Finding  someone of the same gender certainly is neither unnatural or wrong. When we are honest with ourselves, we acknowledge and accept these aspects of our natures.

Give this plenty of thought. Be prepared to experiment, if only so you know that certain behaviours are not you.  Where there is doubt, there should be questioning and experimentation. If there is denial present, why is the denial present? Sexual orientation is not something that can be suppressed or changed without profound harm resulting....no matter what certain misguided Christian and Islamic groups and leaders may insist. At the end of this exploration you should be able to know without any doubt...assuming you don’t already...where your sexual orientation lies

What is it that attracts you?

What is it that floats your boat? Or gets you perky sexually? We like toned bodies. Fitness is incredibly hot. I happen to prefer my women Asian. I like long hair. A nice firm set of breasts will get me interested every time. I don’t much care about the cup size, it’s the firmness that gets me firm. For Selina, she likes toned men with thick, long penises, not too large, but certainly nice and thick. We both find intelligence a huge turn on. There is something different about someone who can hold an intelligent conversation. Often they are better in bed. We also like the chill, someone who is completely relaxed and happy within themselves is more likely to be fun. When we undress for sex, it is our clothes we take off, not our personalities.

What is it that turns you on?

Is it muscle tone? A certain race or ethnicity? Do high heels get you excited? Does the rugged outdoors look do it for you? Or a particular accent or voice? I know someone who happily confesses that a Scottish brogue like the one Sean Connery has is what has her mentally removing her panties.

What is it that repels you?

For us, our list includes tattoo’s, smoking, obesity (no surprise given our likes) and dumbness. In Australia we have a demographic called “Bogan”, they are usually badly educated, loud and not too keen on taking care of themselves. These repel us.

What is it that repels you sexually? Write up a list of the things that repel you.

Pleasure

What is it that gives you pleasure? Write up a list of everything both physical and mental that gives you pleasure. My list in no particular order, for example would be:

1.      Meditation

2.      Exercise,

3.      Sex

4.      Pleasing someone sexually...and I don’t mean Selina

5.      Watching sex...and I don’t mean Porn.

6.      Listening to music

7.      Spending time with my family

8.      Watching a well made documentary

9.      Reading erotic fiction

10.  Looking at gorgeously toned bodies of women

11.  A glass or six of wine

12.  Fresh socks

13.  The smell of sundried clothes.

14.  Playing chess

15.  Learning. Especially when the penny drops and something becomes very clear.

16.  Looking good.

These things all give me pleasure. The pleasure has different textures. The purely intellectual pleasures have a light texture.The bliss that regularly arises in my meditation is more intense, closer to diving deeper into very deep water. Having sex is a primal pleasure, it is earthy and animal in texture.

Has your pleasure changed over the years? Mine has. I enjoy exercise far more. I enjoy the burn from a solid weights session. I also enjoy seeing my muscle tone emerge. Selina has awakened parts of me that were never touched before, so sex is more intense. I am also far more tactiley aware, the feel of nice clothes on my body gives me pleasure, whereas formerly I used to dress without any great attention to how I looked. I also enjoy and thus use more nice smelling perfumes.

Divide the list you’ve written up into three separate lists. The first list should be the intellectual pleasures. The second list is the physical pleasures. The third list is the sexual pleasures. It’s fine if the lists overlap.

Your Body

How well do you know your body? Do you know its weaknesses? Are you familiar with its tone? Which places when touched arouse you? Explore and take note of these places. See if you can find new places. Knowing yourself sexually helps, for a start you will be able to tell Tantric partners what and where gets your rocks off.

Knowing your relationship

This is the interesting bit. How well do you know your relationship? What are the absolutely non-negotiable boundaries and rules? What things are you comfortable with and which things have you utterly firm in your rejection of them? Having been in a number of relationships and having had each of them be very different creatures, I have found that the rules are always different. Also rules and boundaries in relationships change.

Take as much time as you need to to discuss in complete honesty and respect, the rules and boundaries of your relationship. It helps if you actually write them down. Physically list the rules and boundaries. Actually seeing them on paper helps makes them real and prevents any wiggle room or misunderstandings from happening. So does signing them. The reason why want you to know without any doubt exactly how each of you feels what things are and are not within the relationship is because  Tantra as a practice explores absolutely everything and this includes the sexual. It’s perfectly possible to engage in deep Tantric practices in a monogamous relationship, and in the long term having someone who you know and who knows you completely in a sexual manner is absolutely necessary to Tantric practice, still very few of us are ever entirely with one sexual partner throughout our entire practice.

You would be surprised the number of open and non-standard relationships there are, we certainly were. People from all social, educational, economic,  ethnic and physical demographics engage in them.

Tantrics invariably begin to move into non-traditional relationships. It is incredibly rare for Tantrics not to at least try Swinging. Swinging often is part of the exploration of sexuality and sexual boundaries and thus forms a central part of the Tantric Dhamma. When Tantra talks about  and practices the meditation on Sympathetic Joy, for example, it means that you can develop this meditation using the sight of your sexual partner giving and or receiving sexual bliss from another person. When a Tantric practices Metta, it is a genuinely selfless love. There is no sense of ownership, no selfishness in Metta and in Tantra this extends in to the sexual. Relationships are where the vast majority of us are incredibly selfish, immature and outright childish. And this is why and where writing down and signing the rules and boundaries of a relationship comes in. Doing this prevents ugly misunderstandings when one of you begins to engage sexually with other people. Giving permission for and then seeing your girlfriend, boyfriend, fiancé, wife, husband engaging in sex with another person is a threshold that once crossed means the relationship can never return to the way it was before.

And when it comes to Swinging write down what we call “The Rules of Engagement”. These are very clear permissions by both of us as to exactly what we are happy with the other doing. So you, as a male, may be happy with your girl giving oral, but not happy with her engaging in full penetrative sex. You, as a woman, may be happy with seeing your boy completely enjoying himself with a number of women. Or you can both make the agreement that at parties you can look, but not touch and make the party a place where the sexual energy and the sight of sexual activity heightens your own sexual enjoyment. Or that one of you must have play before the other can. People find to their surprise that it is incredibly arousing watching their partner have sex with someone else and the real fun starts when they get home. We find Swinging and parties an interesting space. We have both learnt tricks and it is fun to see someones reaction when you pull something enjoyable out of your sexual bag of tricks.

The absolute killer of relationships is what the other person feels is a lack of power. Power in this context means consent. If you both consent to Swinging or bringing a third person sexually into your relationship...and the two things are not necessarily the same thing. Then you both exercise power. You are both happily consenting to the action. It is when power is denied that things begin to go awry. Pushing someone who simply does not want to do something into doing it, is to deny them their power to say “No”. Quite apart from making you an arsehole.

 Orgasm

It’s something we should all be having if we are enjoying a satisfactory sex life. Often orgasm is the intense and unstable culimination of a sex act. Have you ever taken the time to actually notice exactly what happens during orgasm? You should.

Notice where the pleasure and energy both originate and end up. Notice what happens as the energy and the pleasure build. Are there specific things that help build the energy and the pleasure? For myself the base of the penis when stroked or licked builds energy. The base of the penis isn’t where it means your Mons Pubis, it is actually about half way between the scrotum and the anus. Or for a girl as specific area on or near the clitoris when licked or stroked in a particular rhthym builds orgasm quicker? Are there things that can stoke and postpone orgasm? Are there things that actively disapate the pleasure and energy, such as biting?

This awareness of what is actually happening during orgasm and its lead up will give you the knowledge of what it is exactly that makes your orgasm tick. In this case knowledge is both power and pleasure. If you are aware of the process of orgasm you can direct it, postpone it and ultimately make it more intense. Intense to the point where bliss happens and reality is altered. Having and being able to give someone else this knowledge is profoundly useful. As I have and will say elsewhere in Metta Tantra, sex is a gateway pleasure for Jhana, the more intense the orgasm, the greater the basis for Metta and Jhana will be.

So now would be a good time to stop reading this and go explore your orgasm.

Dhammic Sex Ritual

 There is the normal every day sex that happens between two people, which can take place pretty well anywhere you are happy with and or would dare to, and there is Dhammic Sex, the “nitty” and the “gritty” of Metta Tantra. Not all sexual activity as Tantrics needs to be Dhammic Sex, the other variety is perfectly within our bounds as Tantrics. If you want to make all sexual activity Dhammic Sex, then by all means do, there is however no demand to.

 Dhammic Sex fulfils two functions. The first function is as an offering to the Buddha, Dhamma, Sangha. We offer our pleasure, our acts of love to what the Buddha represents, which is Metta. By engaging in Dhammic Sex we are deepening our practice of Metta. There is only Metta, kind words, gentle caresses and beauty during Dhammic Sex. Therefore you can’t engage in Dhammic Sex with someone you don’t like. You have to honestly like the person you are engaging in Dhammic Sex with. Also you can’t engage in Dhammic Sex whilst obese. The beauty needs to begin with an appreciation of the beauty of the bodies involved in Dhammic Sex. The fitter you are, the more pleasure you will have and will be able to give. The fitter I have become, the longer I have been able to prolong coitus.

The second function fulfilled during Dhammic Sex is the gift of pleasure to our partner(s), present, past or future and ourselves. The world is littered with divorces (including my own) because one of the people in the marriage was sexually inept, selfish and or lazy. Dhammic Sex is where all those NeoTantric guides to sexual athletics and giving the ultimate oral sex, massage, hand job and swinging from the chandeliers come in useful. Completely pull out all stops when it comes to making sure your partner has the best sexual experience of their lives. NeoTantra will teach the male how to orgasm without ejaculation. Yep, you read it right. Orgasm without ejaculation. Multiple orgasms without ejaculation. It will also teach him good sexual manners in that he should be deeply interested in making sure that his partner(s) are having the most enjoyable experience possible. It is perfectly acceptable to ask questions during Dhammic Sex.  NeoTantra will teach the female new ways to pleasure her partner(s), places to put her tongue, ways of stimulating her partner(s) with her fingers. There is also a very good reason why physical fitness is emphasised so much in Metta Tantra, when the sexual athletics break loose, you will need it.

The goal here is twofold. The first is the gift of pleasure. Pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, isn’t something that Traditional Theravada usually includes in its’ list of things to be used when practising the Recollection of Generosity. This has always seemed to me as being more than a little odd. Because few experiences are as intensely personal as orgasm or even just plain good sex. Sex goes to the heart of us, there is no gift quite like it.  Therefore it’s logical that the gift of sexual pleasure be kammically more productive than any other form of giving due to the intensity and the intimacy of it. Short of organ donation there is no more an intimate or appreciated gift that you can give someone than that of orgasm. Thus, there is no reason why we shouldn’t use it in our Dhamma. This is what I will call Mundane or Ordinary Pleasure. Dhammic Sex with Mundane Pleasure as its goal can be over relatively quickly. You can set aside an hour for it and it will be perfectly serviceable as Dhammic Sex.

The second part is the gift of what I will call Supramundane Pleasure. This is the orgasm that is so intense that it alters reality. This Supramundane Pleasure is the goal or tool of every form of Tantra and in this Metta Tantra is no different. This form of Dhammic Sex takes time and preparation, we need to be able to practice this form of Dhammic Sex for as long as we need to. Typically this is anything between one to five hours or longer. It needs its own skill set and place in that we don’t want to be interrupted whilst practising it.

We engage in Dhammic Sex in front of the same altar where we meditate, do yoga and our weights workouts. In keeping Dhammic Sex in the same space as that which you meditate and do yoga you are reinforcing the meaning of the activity. Having Dhammic Sex all over the house and garden, I think muddles the meaning of the act. We agree before hand on whether we are engaging in Mundane or Supramundane Dhammic Sex. The time requirements of the two forms of Dhammic Sex are very different. Supramundane Sex can and should take hours.

The space for Dhammic Sex is transformed in some simple ways. We make offerings of alcohol and place an obviously Tantric image on the altar, this can be as explicit as you like. This is to reinforce that what is about to happen is both sacred and Tantric. We use Theravadin monastic robes as part of our floor coverings along with pillows and bring the usual sexual necessities of lubricant and towels. Theravadin robes are not that hard to find in Melbourne, often the Sri Lankan or Thai groceries will stock them and often the temples of the Thai, Lao, Khmer and Burmese have plenty in stock. If you are in a place where no robes are to be found then a piece of orange or khaki coloured cloth will do. Orange is a colour often associated with the Dhamma in Hinduism and Indic religions in general. So rather than waste a perfectly good resource we sewed the robes together and use them exclusively during worship.

The preparations for Dhammic Sex begin well before we enter the room in which it is to take place. There is absolutely no point in engaging in Dhammic Sex when outside of it we resemble sacks of shit. Our very first and ongoing preparation for Dhammic Sex is taking care of ourselves and becoming physically beautiful. Physical beauty to me is muscle tone. I came across something in social media that made complete sense “The skinny look good in clothes, the toned look good naked.” I would add to this: “the fat NEVER look good.” As someone who made it all the way to 140 kg (308 lb or 22.5 Stone) I feel this puts me in a position to offer an opinion.

We groom ourselves extensively, taking the time to remove any rough and dry skin, to shave and to make ourselves utterly clean.  We tend not to use soaps that have strong fragrances as these will mask the smells of arousal.  We enter the room freshly groomed. Our exercise and diet are also preparations for Dhammic Sex. The fitter and healthier we are, the better it will be for both of you. It is a given that some people are into the obese, but these are a decided minority and in light of that we can use our efforts in becoming ever more fuckable as part of the preparation for Dhammic Sex.

We make the space as comfortable as we can...no woman likes having her tailbone bruised during sex. We bring in a fan if necessary and make sure there are plenty of cushions in the room. We also use an incense that we only use during Dhammic Sex. We use beeswax candles which have a different tone of light and smell better than the commercially made paraffin candles. They may cost more, but they burn for at least twice as long and help move the atmosphere towards the Dhamma.

We begin Dhammic Sex with paying Homage to the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha in the form of bowing and chanting. We bow  three times to the Buddha. Then begin chanting the verses remembering the qualities of the Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha. Then taking the Five Tantric Trainings. As is traditionally the case in Traditional Theravada, this is done in Pali. We begin by bowing to the altar and each other three times. Then we begin chanting:

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhasa

Honour to Him, the Blessed One, the Worthy One, the Fully Enlightened One

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhasa

Honour to Him, the Blessed One, the Worthy One, the Fully Enlightened One

Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhasa

Honour to Him, the Blessed One, the Worthy One, the Fully Enlightened One

Buddham saranam gaccami

I go to the Buddha for Refuge

Dhammam saranam gaccami

I go to the Dhamma for Refuge

Sangham saranam gaccami

I go to the Sangha for Refuge

Dutiyampi Buddham saranam gaccami

I go to the   Buddha a second time for Refuge

Dutiyampi Dhammam saranam gaccami

I go to the Dhamma a second time for Refuge

Dutiyampi Sangham saranam gaccami

I go to the Sangha a third time for Refuge

Tatiyampi Buddham saranam gaccami

I go to the Buddha  a third Time for Refuge

Tatiyampi Dhammam saranam gaccami

I go to theDhamma a third time  for Refuge

Tatiyampi Sangham saranam gaccami

I go to the Dhamma a third time for Refuge

Panatipata veramani sikka padam samadiyami

I undertake the training to preserve life

Adinna dana veramani sikka padam samadiyami

I undertake the training to not take what is not given

Kamesu miccachara veramani sikka padam samadiyami

I undertake the training to behave responsibly in sexual matters

Musavada veramani sikka padam samadiyami

I undertake the training to control what comes out of my mouth

Surameraya majja sikka padam samadiyami

I undertake the training to avoid negative intoxicants.

Salutation to the Buddha’s

Itipiso Bhagavā Araham Sammā sambuddho vijjā carana-sampanno. Sugato Lokavidu Anuttaro Purisa damma-sārathi, satthā deva-manussānaṁ Buddho Bhagavati.

Such indeed is the Blessed One, exalted, all seeing, endowed with knowledge and virtue. One who has gone beyond Rebirth. Knower of all the planes of existence. An incomparable teacher of all Beings

Salutation to the Dhamma

Svākkhāto Bhagavatā Dhammo sanditthijo akaliko ehipassiko opanayiko paccattam veditabbo vinnuhiti.

Well taught is the Dhamma by the Blessed One, to be realised by each of us due to our own efforts, to be but approached in order to be seen, a path capable of being walked, by us and the wise, each person by themselves.

Salutation to the Sangha’s

Supatipanno Bhagavato savakasangho. Ujupatipanno Bhagava savakasangho. Nayapatipanno Bhagavato savakasangho. Samicipatipanno Bhagavato savakasangho. Yadidam cattari purisa yugani attha purisa puggala, esa bhagavato savakasangho. Ahuneyyo pahuneyyo dakkhineyyo anjali karaniyo anuttaram punna kkhetam lokassati.

Of good conduct is the Sangha of the Blessed One. Of proper conduct is the Sangha of the Blessed One. Of wise conduct is the Sangha of the Blessed One. Of appropriate conduct is this Sangha of the Blessed One.  This Sangha of the Blessed One, these four groups of people is: worthy of time, worthy of hospitality, worthy of gifts and worthy of respect. They atr an imcomparable field of Merit for us.

In Dhammic Sex we put away our usual names and identities and become Viriya and Sakti. Viriya means energy and Sakti or Shakti as it is in the Sanskrit means power. Though you can and should choose names to suit yourselves, we each become manifestations of Dhamma, for the time of the worship we are Dhamma and never use our non-Dhamma names during worship. Shakti has a place in Buddhism because she is another manifestation of Kwan Yin. You can simply become Sex. We are the physical manifestations of the Dhamma and if you want Goddesses or Bodhisattva’s or Sex. We begin to offer in words what it is that we like most about each other and engage in gentle, positive small talk, this is the beginning of verbal foreplay. There is never a sense of hurry or duty about this. We use the “formula” of “I worship, I honour these qualities, these things I like in you....” And the qualities are everything from masculinity and femininity to sense of humour to intellect.

We then begin touching each other and physical foreplay begins. There is no hurry. We promote the rise of pleasure and energy in each other. It is now that we begin to stimulate the chakra and gently engage the parts of each other that give pleasure. We build and stoke the sexual energies in each other.

The classical Tantric sexual position is that of yab-yum which is where the male sits on the floor and the female straddles him. It is a wonderful position as it leaves both the woman’s neck and breasts accessible for touching with your lips, teeth and tongue. It also stimulates the clitoris and is a nice deep way to worship. Because yab-yum only really works on very firm surfaces it isn’t much used in bed. The use of yab-yum is another indicator that this sex is very different from our regular lovemaking. Apart from this...swing from the rafters, sing Hallelujah...whatever floats your boat sexually.

 Become Sex. Throw away all inhibitions and restraints. Totally lose control during Dhammic Sex. During Supramundane Sex try to avoid ejaculation for as long as you possibly can. Your goal here is for you both to have as many orgasms as you possibly can. To be left panting, trembling and utterly saturated with sexual pleasure. Use your lips, teeth, nose, fingers, tongue and lingam to completely raise each other to someone who just wants to fuck. If you are the woman, stoke his sexual energy. Worship his lingam and his entire body with your mouth, hands, yoni and breasts. Feel and rejoice in just how wonderfully masculine his Linga is in your hands, in your mouth, on your breasts, rubbing on your erect and sensitive nipples and gently all over your clitoris, in your vagina.

If you are the male, rejoice in every aspect of her. Her erect nipples, the smell and feel of her arousal, the taste of it. Rejoice in just how good it feels to enter her. Both of you should rejoice in just how good it feels in rocking your bodies together in unrestrained gifts of pleasure. A point will be reached where orgasm and ejaculation can no longer be held back and it is in this moment the highest gift to each other and to the Dhamma is offered. Be as aware as possible of the tremendous release of energy that accompanies this moment. For the male it can feel like an intense discharge of electricity, a lightning bolt surging out of you and into the woman. By this time the woman should also feel the intense release of energy as her male hilts himself and his penis dances inside her.

At this moment you have Dhammic Union. Two people who have just worshipped in a primal, joyous, transcendent manner. You are utterly naked emotionally and physically. Now there are no pretences or illusions. In Dhammic Sex we are practising the essence of this Tantra, we are practising Generosity, Love, Compassion, and Sympathetic Joy. At the completion of Dhammic Sex take time to rejoice in the pleasure you have just given each other. Rejoice in the pleasure the other person and yourself have felt.

We offer sexual fluids to the Buddha. The semen and vaginal fluids that naturally flow out of the vagina after all sexual activity are mopped up and offered. We have a special offering dish for this purpose. Because of the intensely loving nature of Dhammic Sex the offering of sexual fluids is kammically more productive. Remember we have also given our partner an intensely enjoyable gift. Most people appreciate an orgasm over almost anything else. The gift is deep and intense, therefore it makes sense that it should be kammically more productive.

Dhammic Sex can be a group activity. Either with one Tantric having multiple partners or with everyone in the group having multiple partners. This is one reason why traditionally Tantra did its best not to attract attention. Having multiple sexual partners was, and to a degree still is, seen as immoral, especially so if you are female. A sexually aggressive and successful male is a “legend”, a sexually aggressive and successful female has always been a “slut”. An unfair and blatantly misogynistic attitude if ever the was one. So long as everyone is happy and comfortable with a group situation then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. If you are engaging in group worship and don’t know everyone well...be smart & use condoms. In group worship the goal should be for everyone to experience the intense, orgasmic pleasure that is the goal of Dhammic Sex. Group worship can be a place of an altogether different league of pleasure because it is possible for all our pleasure points to be stimulated simultaneously. A group worship creates a vibe, an atmosphere where because of the sex happening around them people become more aroused, less inhibited and more sexually aggressive than they would when only a couple is engaged in worship. The result can be orgasms that utterly turn off our brains.

Another approach to Dhammic Sex is to combine it with a workout or yoga. The setting remains the same and you use your exercise as the prelude Dhammic Sex. We find that the combination works astonishingly well.

Homosexual and bisexual activity is fine as Dhammic Sex. In Metta Tantra we do not discriminate in regards to sexual orientation.

 At the end of Dhammic Sex you can have a meal as a sort of sacrament, it is here that I most heartily advocate indulging in the fine wines, beers, spirits and food. With this meal you can be as “sinful” as you want. So enjoy the chocolate mousse, medium rare steak and the very best alcohol that you can afford. You’ve given your best sexually to both your partner and The Dhamma, now is the time to give back to yourself. I often make an offering on our altar of what we consume at the end of worship. It seems more than a little selfish to offer the sexual energies to the Divine and then not include it in the nice foods.

Also take the time to simply be with the person and or people with which you have just engaged in Dhammic Sex with. Give them and yourself the time to calm down and to recollect their thoughts and emotions. Behave in loving, gentle ways.

Blissful sexual health empowers your meditation, as I’ve said before, you can and should use it in your Caganussati. There is absolutely no need to feel guilty about sexual pleasure. It takes time to acquire a sexual skill base and to know your partner well enough to give them the ultimate gift. So use it in your meditation. Have an orgasm that blows you out of the water or turns large sections of your brain off and I guarantee that you will be in a great mood when you meditate either immediately afterwards, assuming you can actually concentrate or the next morning. The improvement in mood due to Dhammic Sex will deepen the pleasure in your meditation. There is also an intense clarity of mind and this is what you use.

Sex is part of being healthy. Frequent healthy sexual expression brings us into balance both physically and emotionally. There will be spill over...no pun intended between what happens in Dhammic Sex and your bedroom. Ditto for yoga, Dhammic Sex and your non-sacred sex life. A blissful feedback loop can and should be established.

At the end of Dhammic Sex formally offer the pleasure you have just given and received to all beings. We use the formula : May All Beings Recieve the Merit from this Dhammic Sex.