Now that I'm 50

Yep, that's me in all the horror. I turned 50 last Thursday. A lot has happened in the last half century. If I have my way it is the next half century that will be the better half century.
As you all know, I lost a much loved brother in December of last year. Mark was 60 when he died. As I've blogged I think Mark had an awful life that ended in a perfectly shitty death. Mark was almost literally the polar oppossite of me in personality. Where I like to self describe as: Mad, Bad, Dangerous to Know. Mark was more: Mad, Sad and Self Harming.
Which has me thinking.
I'm 50. An age I never expected to reach.
Now that I have, what am I going to do with it? What is my Bucket List?
 I will resume my Food Diary and the healthy eating it helps reinforce.
 I will return to my exercise program of weights, walking, Pilates and Yoga.
I will finally deal with the emotional baggage that remains from my exit from Theravada. I have baggage with Brahmavamso Bhikkhu in particular. I won't be wild about the ego the guy has, nor the brain dead adulation given to him, but he is successful for a reason...and that is his teachings on getting into the Bliss States work. so I will  engage him on the Internet and in books where I can filter the ass kissing. I have been stupid in the extreme to let my own dislike of the personality cult around Brahmavamso get in the way of the effectiveness of what he teaches. I will incorporate those teachings into Metta Tantra, let me see if I can cut past the ego of the guy to see if there is something that can be used in a healthy life.

                          
.I will continue to deepen my practice of Metta Tantra. Which is to say I will continue treating my body with great gentleness, I will treat other people with great gentleness, I will continue my efforts towards physical and mental perfection.
In some ways having turned 50 everything has changed, in many ways nothing has.