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Tuesday 29 November 2011

A Conversation with James

James
Hello.
I am in the process of letting people know that I have left Theravada. It's the Aspergers expressing itself and it is compelling me to be very thorough in my decision.
 No more chance of bumping into me & mine at Vesak.
If you are remotely interested in the gory details, then the blogs below will sate that interest.
I liked you as a person and always thought that you treated me with a kindness that very few at the BSV ever did.
Live well James.
Russell


Hi Russell,
                Trust you and all your loved ones are well and happy. Didn’t know you had Aspergers not that it changes anything. Have made a start reading your blogs. I agree that Theravadin Buddhists a uber conservative and judgemental and not very compassionate. I have read an interesting book on Tantric practices “The Jewel in the Lotus” by Sunyata Sarawati and Bodhi Avinasha. They describe celibate monastics as dried up husks devoid of life which seems to be fairly accurate to me. I am interested to know if you have joined a Tantric Group or are pursuing your practice on your own. I haven’t had the opportunity to read all of your blog as yet but what I have read is most compelling and dare I say very well written.
Wish you all the best
Regards
James

"If you are fully in control, then you aren't going fast enough"

Mario Andretti
 James
Thank-you for your interesting and compassionate response. We are at the moment practising/studying Tantra by ourselves. We've bought a very good introduction "The Everything Tantric Sex Book". Basically I am still practising Metta and Theravada just is too shallow in its teachings. The moment you want to "tweak" things you are shown the door. I want to explore Metta and physical fitness, Metta and a sexual relationship etc., Also I am simply a loud person. I struggled with the repression and denial in Theravada. The Vipassana movement of boring drones watching every thought and emotion...and never rejoicing in any of them simply isn't me. Also the hypocrisy and politics of Theravada just kills any interest or acceptance that those who profess it have any idea of what they preach. The way that Selina and I were treated was bordering on the appalling. My decision to end a failing/failed marriage was treated almost as a crime by people who had no stake, emotional or otherwise in that marriage. I waited for the outbreak of Mudita towards me finally being happy....I'm still waiting. Our Engagement notice in the BSV newsletter quite literally didn't result in one person congratulating us. We were at the BSV for Vesak this year...and the hostility was almost palpable. They didn't want us there.

The Tantric teaching that we are all manifestations of the Divine and should be treated as such is very much in tune with Metta. And there isn't a mentally healthy person alive who will not welcome being treated with gentleness and a reverence for the inherent good in them. The great sex is simply one aspect of the Path...mind you neither Selina or I are complaining about the results of what we are learning. Being reduced to a whimpering, panting, mindless blob of pure pleasure is not something we will find fault in, nor the deep sense of fulfilment and the glow that doesn't seem to fade. Equally important is the dressing well...thank God for the Op Shops of Chapel Street....grooming, and making your physical environment beautiful...Nasturtiums, God bless them, flower year round. The house and the meditation area in particular is now a place of light and happiness. There is also a deep reverence for nourishing all aspects of ourselves as people. So you will find that I have lost 10 kg since July, that Khalil Gibran and Rumi are being read. There is a wholistic approach to Tantra that I like. If I can use bliss resulting from union to power my Metta then I will. In the mean time there is the cultivation of gentleness and beauty. We found that book on Amazon and it looks very interesting.

The celibate monastics that I know and have known, I think are "dried up husks" and a good many of them are equipped with bad attitudes. Gratitude is a vanishingly rare species in that crowd. There is a demand that they are supported...and that man in Kallista (see above photo)  has the worst of attitudes. He bitches and moans about having to do the bare minimum and expects Lay people who he talks about with open contempt to support him. When you express an interest in ordaining, these people drop their guards and I heard a lot of stuff that didn't edify me at all. Mind you, Ajahn Brahm has fallen in love with the arse polishing that comes with what I consider to be a growing personality cult. Mention parenthood as a valid expression of the Path to that one and you can expect to have your opinions dismissed out of hand. Unless you prostrate yourself and praise the Great Guru Ajahn Brahm, then there isn't a lot of interest in you. And if Jeffrey Tan doesn't die from the amount of arse kissing that happens at Bodhivana every time there is an event, then he most likely will die from a gross enlargement of the ego. Lets hope that boy doesn't go out in the rain much....the weight of all those tickets he's placed on himself getting wet would be dangerous.

The Aspergers was diagnosed in March...a week or two after I began Uni. We had our suspicions and I met someone in the Mature Age and Part Time Students Lounge who used to be a Psychiatrist and worked with Aspergers. Little things like having trouble with reading clocks with hands, the bluntness that I was apparently notorious for, the love of routine and the memory are all Aspergers. When we researched Aspergers basically all the dots connected. I had my answers. I came across a quote by an Aspie (as we are called) "If you concentrate on fixing your weaknesses you will only become less disabled. If you strengthen where you are already strong, you will become remarkable." I consider Aspergers a positive...now that I know why I'm different. No need to be cured.

We leave for Singapore on Saturday for 10 weeks in S.E Asia. Monash Uni expects you to visit the country of the language you are studying and for me that is Indonesia. You can imagine my irritation when having told someone at Bodhivana that I was studying Indonesian at Monash Uni, that they immediately discounted it as me doing a language course...it's a Bachelor of Arts that I'm studying with 2 majors...Indonesian and Asian Studies....bit of a difference

This has turned into quite the magnum opus. Selina and Ariel are well. Ariel is a very loud, healthy, happy little boy. Selina is hopefully studying for a Masters in Education next year.

With Metta:
Russell

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