I have been giving a good amount of thought to my decision to use this trip to close a chapter of this life time and to open another. I am completely at ease with it and as time goes on am increasingly sure that it was the right decision to make. Things needed to change and the tension of having friendships where I got the impression that the other person thought I was a bit of a dill wasn't helping me at all. I will no longer have any friendships like that.
Whilst there are a lot of sexual images associated with Tantra, sex is always going to be just one component of the practise and the practise of Tantra is going to happen with Selina. She is my partner in this and will be the Shakti to my Shiva. So anyone expecting me to become orgiastic and solely concerned with sex is in for a disappointment. Deep pleasure and making sure that your sexual partner is completely satisfied is simply natural.
I am also removing a lot of barriers and will explore a lot of things on my return to Australia. Perhaps this is simply the Aspergers manifesting itself. I have to take everything to their logical ends in exploring them. This means that I will be making love with another man next year. No questions left unasked, no roads left unexplored.
I am in this as a way of deepening my practise of Brahma Vihara and Tantra is a much, much more holistic approach. We will be practising without a guru and that means that it will be Neotantra that we will practise. We will practise yoga in addition to Metta and the Brahma Vihara and pursue an active exercise regime of walking and weights. Books on aromatherapy, reflexology and massage are going to be added to our library as well as openly erotic art. We bought a linga in Pnom Penh.
The nice thing about the trip I'm on is the revamp of the wardrobe that is happening, also the leaning out is very welcome...my muscle tone is coming along nicely. But I'm eating a lot of fruit and small meals. Carrying Ariel is also good for my fitness.
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