Introduction to new book "Tantra"

Introduction

My background in practice is Theravadin Buddhist. I considered myself Theravadin for almost a quarter of a century before essentially running out of room in which to practice. I am also a Metta (Loving-kindness) meditator and it is through a desire to deepen my Metta that I came to Tantra. Metta is a powerful meditation and the way that I was wanting to incorporate it into my life simply isn’t supported in Theravada. I began to want to use Metta in pursuing weight loss, diet, parenting and sex, and it is the last activity in particular that Theravada at first balks at, and then gives an emphatic no to. Tantra offered me the path to deepen my Metta practice.

 In regards to parenting, it is clearly obvious that  celibates have little or no relevant knowledge when it comes to raising a child and in the last year or so of my involvement with Theravada I had met Selina and parenting became very much something I wanted to do. I have found that being a parent has deepened my practice and changed me in ways I could hardly even imagined, let alone having done. The idea of listening to those with limited, if any actual experience of something as profoundly life changing as becoming a parent just seemed absurd.

And having been very much part of the Theravadin monastic scene (my ex-wife could see the writing on the relationship wall and was pushing me to ordain), these people are the absolute last people who you should ever consider turning to for relationship advice. There are enough sexual hang-ups, and outright dysfunctions in the Theravadin Sangha to keep an Agony Aunt or Psychiatrist gainfully employed to the Big Crunch at the end of the Universe and beyond.

Theravada is very much in the head, and not in the body, there are no teachings on how a healthy body can empower your Metta practice, let alone use sex to deepen your Metta (this is what you get when you have sexual failures running your religion). And  in fact one teacher in particular, Brahmavamso Bhikkhu, has developed Type 2 diabetes, so there’s no point in asking him how to use your morning yoga, jog or sex in your meditation.

I am also someone blessed with Aspergers Syndrome. I don’t naturally “do” quiet. I am different, I do look at the world from a very different perspective and the very last thing I am is conventional  and when I’m happy I’m loudly, openly happy and when I’m sad....  The Theravada group I belonged to throughout my first marriage simply couldn’t deal with such an unconventional, non-conservative personality. Theravada also likes to be monochromatic especially in the personalities it wants to attract in the West. The ideal Theravadin is someone who is quiet, dresses and thinks conservatively and is in my opinion a new idea free zone. Theravada responds incredibly badly to experimentation, perhaps because the average age of a person in the West attending a Theravadin group that is not ethnically dominated is in their late 30’s or older.  My ultimate act of trashing Theravadin conservatism was leaving my wife of 20 years for a woman who was respectively 31 years younger than her and 19 years old at the time, Selina wasn’t even half my age, let alone my ex-wife’s. Add in the gentle fact that she is bisexual and we were at one point dating a woman and you can see where the only possible way for us was out. I must hold the distinction of being the only person to have been actively excommunicated from a mainstream Buddhist tradition. The Buddhist Society of Victoria must have breathed a hearty sigh of relief when I finally took the hint and stopped attending. The loud, noisy one and his emotions and weirdness was gone...and they could return to their rightful silence and solitude.

I had departed Theravada and embraced a whole new Dharma, one far more suited to my personality. Tantra gives me to room to be as loud and passionate as I want. The very last thing Tantra has ever been is conservative, and as a result it suits me perfectly. Tantra has always been the edge. It has always been the scary, slightly psycho relative of Hinduism & Buddhism. Tantra dares to do what the more conservative Traditions want to, but can’t. I think as a result of this Tantra is incredibly fluid, creative and dynamic. 

 In this book I will attempt to articulate a Tantra  for practice in the West. I am not seeking a reimagining of Tantra, it’s more of an attempt at removing the overtly sex-centric nature of NeoTantra from the central position it currently occupies and instead crafting a Tantra significantly deeper and wholistic and if anything, easier to articulate and less frightening to the gentler members of society. The Tantra within this book is unapologetically syncretistic, as Tantra has always been, there are Buddhist elements in the Tantra I practice. Specifically  they are Theravadin Buddhist elements, for although Theravada  in the West and in Sri Lanka is stiflingly conservative, there are meditations taught in it that are deep, powerful and beautiful and it is these I use. The  Five and Eight Trainings of Theravada Buddhism are, I feel useful in a Tantric context.  Periods of celibacy do have a place in Tantra. If you want to experience the full force of sexual energy then engage in celibacy. About a week in and you will be well and truly aware that there is a lot of heat and energy in the vicinity of your crotch. I just happen to think that unless you are asexual, that withdrawing from all sexual activity for years at a stretch is not only unhealthy, it’s unnatural.

 There are some Hindu elements in my practice, and there is also a significant modern Western element, particularly when it comes to illustrating the teachings, expect quotes from people you know of. The Tantra in this book is also unapologetically positive and gentle. If anything, I’m more than likely leaning towards an ascetic interpretation of Tantra.

I like my rules ( as I’ve already confessed, I have Aspergers Syndrome) and orgiastic behaviour in the form of excessive consumption of alcohol (messes with my sexual stamina), meat and drugs doesn’t appeal to me. Group sex on the other hand is something I quite enjoy. Whilst I am not overly joyed at the central place that NeoTantra gives sex, there is no denying or escaping that Tantra is sexual in nature. You will find that what is presented in this book is coherent and mutually supportive. There is nothing left out on a limb. Meditation is supported by yoga, yoga is supported by the Five Trainings, the Five Trainings are supported by the Core Teachings, which in turn support the meditation. There is  an interconnectedness similar to a spiders web, everything here supports everything else.

Perhaps what sets this book apart is the use of the Sufi Rumi and his teachings as part of the Core Teachings. Rumi, in my opinion at least, was a Metta adept. If I was ever to embrace a Guru, Rumi would be him. Rumi is all about Love and at times it is hard to distinguish whether he is talking about a Love of The Divine or a person. Because Rumi was Muslim, The Divine for him is masculine, however there are enough verses where Rumi addresses or talks about the Beloved, for The Divine to possess an androgynous nature. Rumi may have self identified as Muslim, however his true religion was Love, and this is why I use him in my practice.

If you want to research Tantra, and Yoga for that matter, there are a couple of very well researched, if a little dry, books on the history and origins of Tantra. Perhaps the easiest to get hold of is “The Origins of YOGA AND TANTRA Indic Religions to the Thirteenth Century”  by Geoffrey Samuel.