Orgasm

The orgasm is an intensely personal event. It is when we are at our most vulerable, our most open. My ex-wife took to laughing at the faces I made when ejaculating. Needless to say this didn't add spice to our sex life. I had to tell her that laughing at me at this point was incredibly off putting precisely because of the fact that at the point of ejaculation or orgasm I was at my most vulnerable emotionally. Like I said...my Ex-wife.

The orgasm is often the most enjoyable event in our lives. Even if we enjoy our activities intensely, the orgasm occupies a space of its own when it comes to pleasure. Orgasm is intense, violent, often short in duration when compared to other events, yet has the ability to give us a glow that will literally last all day and is clearly recognisable for what it is.

Having established that the orgasm is both intensely personal and enjoyable in a unique way, we can move to a point where we can accept that orgasm is the highest gift short of organ donation that can be given in a relationship, no matter how brief that relationship may be. A sexual relationship that has a high number of orgasms in it is likely to be a happy one....I don't think I've made any quantum leaps in logic there. I tend to have only happy thoughts towards my wife when she turns my brain to the cerebral equivalent of baby food and I know that if she spends two or more minutes on a regular basis looking and sounding like she's expelling a demon then a lot more of life is negotiable.

Also reasonable people when they've regained their composure following  orgasm are going to want to return the favour. The gift of orgasm as part of foreplay often leads to better sex afterwards. Women in particular are known to find orgasm an intensely wakening event and are more awake and inclined towards vigorous intercourse post orgasm, they are also more inclined to view requests more favourably.

The gift of orgasm is a two way event. There is the gift of orgasm by the person providing the sexual stimulation and then there is the gift of seeing the pleasure given. It makes sense if we actually enjoy seeing our sexual partners orgasm that we are going to want to do it more often. I can't remember the last time an orgasm was declined....either in my love life or by rumour. Thus the circle of giving is brought into existence.

Given that orgasm enhances relationship/sexual harmony it isn't all that hard to understand that it is a serious gift. I think that we are better off from a kammic stand point giving intense pleasure that enhances the goodwill in our intimate lives than we are in giving a member of a celibate religious order something. I have seen members of the Classical Theravadin Monastic Sangha be swamped with more "requisites" than they know what to do with and still have clear sense of self entitlement. Likewise I have been a husband and seen other husbands and wives who are simply not having their sexual needs met and are utterly miserable as a result. So I know which gift I want to make.....