Progress

It has been nearly three years since I left Traditional Theravada and embarked on my journey that has become Metta Tantra. I will admit here and now that I am nowhere near what I want to look like. The photo above was taken just minutes ago....(why can't I take a decent selfie?).

As I wrote in Renunciation, I struggle with a sugar addiction. This has resulted in repeated binges on sugar. I've also struggled with the quantities I eat. I still stuff myself beyond being simply full. In effect I've been my own worst enemy. I feel a clear obligation as founder of Metta Tantra to be in effect its poster boy. To be proof that it works as a Dhamma. And this proof exists. As a poster boy for Metta Tantra I have to honestly label myself "a work in progress".

There is abundant evidence that I have changed significantly. I bumped into Siobhan Kilmartin, someone who had known me for about 10 years last week....I hadn't seen her in at least three years. I had to take my sunglasses off for her to recognise me. Two weeks before that at the Newbury Buddhist Monastery I happened to meet Cora Thomas who is currently the President of the Buddhist Society of Victoria. I knew Cora for quite a while before I left the BSV. Yet she had to ask me if I was who she thought I was.Whilst there has been precious little weight loss...I flatlined at 105 kg 2 years ago, there has been noticeable leaning out and toning.

The changes to my diet, with the exception of periodic binges on sugar, have been permanent and even the sugar addiction is being worked on. The intolerance-allergy to flavour enhances or non-natural MSG makes this a necessity. It may make buying food for camping trips and long walks a challenge, but I have no option but to eat "clean & green". I eat a high fibre diet which I think is helping the leaning out. A high fibre diet results in some spectacular craps, it also has resulted in very low cholesterol. It is part of the ongoing leaning out. There is a list of foods I don't digest....they emerge from my bowels in the same condition they went in and because of this are perfect for me: kibbled wheat, black currants, maize, poppy seeds, pepita are the ones I eat the most of. I can binge on these, feel disgustingly full and actually lose fat.

Given that the physical change apparently has been serious. The mental change is based on observations made during contact with members of the BSV is of a similar nature. In meeting both Siobhan and Cora I have had my Forgiveness confirmed. There is simply no anger present. The BSV and Traditional Theravada is my past. I have had contact with it enough to confirm that it isn't something that interests me all that much. At the time of writing I'm very much Meh! in regards to Traditional Theravada. I can see where it floats some peoples boats and I can see why some Guru like Brahmavamso Bhikkhu are so popular, but it isn't for me.

My other relationships are prospering. The practice of Metta helps. Indeed it can be argued that is the practice of Metta that fuels the growth and stability in my life. I'm happier and calmer practising a Dhamma that questions Traditional Theravada and its interpretation of the Third Training. I have freedom to explore Dhamma in a wholistic manner that is free of denial and repression and this freedom leads to happiness and peace.

So I can see where things are working for me. I'm not where I want and need to be, but there is enough data to suggest that Metta Tantra works as Dhamma.